27 May From Closet Addict to Best Selling Author and Coach
- LISTEN TO JENS STORY HERE:
I look around at my happy, peaceful life and not one day do I take what I have or the road it took me to get here for granted. For decades I fought a woman that took up residence in my soul and she was killing me more every day while she stole my joy and life right out from under me.
There I was, mid-30’s and I didn’t recognize the woman staring back in the mirror. I looked at my life and although I had a successful job, a beautiful home and incredible stories of travel and unforgettable experiences- I was dead inside. I’m not sure how I got there, because life took me for a ride and I piled on layers at every turn. I was no longer that 5-year-old girl that looked at her big gums and wryly hair in the mirror with confidence and love, I saw a monster and criticized her every fiber.
When I was 12-years-old, I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw the comments that people told me; giant, fat, too tall. I heard what they said and I believed it. I didn’t know it when I was 5 I was different, but I quickly learned it. It’s an age where everyone wants to be ‘part of the crowd’, everyone wants to be ‘normal’, but I was different. I towered over the other kids and as much as I tried to figure out how I could get shorter, shaving my feet or cutting out bone didn’t seem to be an option; it was a dead-end road to combat my height. It was then that I heard about eating disorders, the easy fix to my weight problem, or so I thought. And thus my road of addictions began. My double-life was in motion. I would no longer feel pain. I would no longer be connected to the person I had grown to despise. I was untouchable as long as I was high.
What started out as an innocent way to lose weight became the start to the hell in my life I faced for decades.
One addiction morphed into another and there I was, a black-out drunk in my mid-thirties and I was lost in life. I had tried for a decade to get sober. I found myself not only bruised on the inside, but in a severely mentally and physically abusive relationship as well. How many lies I told to explain the bruises on my face and my body. I wanted out of that life- I wanted all of the abuse gone.
My problem was drinking, right? Drinking landed me in jails, hospitals, it kept me isolated from the world, it kept me prisoner in my skin.
A decade of my life where Monday brought a promise of a new beginning, where every day I committed myself to a sober life, a decade where I failed myself successfully 100% of my days- at least in my commitment to get sober. I couldn’t get past myself and it felt too good not to feel. But, why didn’t I want to feel?
I was ashamed, I was hurting, I was broken. That wasn’t the drinking, that was me. I was the problem, the drinking was the symptom. My drinking allowed me to not face the one person that could solve the problem, it was me I needed to face. That woman in the mirror that was unrecognizable needed to be discovered and the person inside that was killing her needed to go.
How had I missed this fundamental element in my life? I was the key to my success. I was the only person that could turn my ship around, yet I self-deprecated and abused myself. How could I expect that anyone else could love me when I didn’t love me?
I thought if I found my way into a dating relationship with a ‘good guy’ that I would become happy and my drinking would go away, so I found my way into one. Poor guy, no pressure, just change my life and make me happy. After 4 months we sat down and had ‘the talk’. He told me the 7 words that changed the course of my life. He said “Jen, you need to learn to love yourself.” He didn’t know I was an alcoholic, but he saw enough to know that I didn’t love the person within. As I sat there and felt emotionally cracked open I knew he was right. He knew what I needed, he knew the answer to my prayers. If I was ever going to have the life of love, happiness and peace that I desired that I needed to start with me.
That was May 13th, 2018 and I have now successfully been sober ever since, all starting with those 7 words. I began working a program that I have now trademarked and use to coach others that need to reconnect with themselves. I wrote my #1 Best Selling book “RESET” (found on Amazon and Barnes N Nobel) where it walks the reader through the steps to reclaim your life and learn to love the person in the mirror.
My addiction was my story, but it’s the same story as so many of us face- life piles on us and we lose the person inside. I failed to get my life on track for over two decades because I didn’t try to reconnect with myself, I kept trying to fix the symptom.
Now, I sleep at night. I look healthier. I have deeper friendships and connections with people. I’m able to have a healthy dating life. I’m happier with my career. I have peace and my anger is now gone. And most importantly, I love the person in the mirror, and I fall in love with her more every day.
Even if I had the chance, I wouldn’t change my story. I needed to go through what I went through to learn to truly love myself for who I am. The good news is that anyone can make this transformation in their life. It takes commitment to that face in the mirror and every day working to make you happy. My life is amazing- and that’s not something I ever thought I could say, but it’s 100% possible.
You are the key to your success. You have everything inside of you, it’s flipping the script on your life and telling yourself you are worth it. Learn to love that person in the mirror! If I can change my life around- you can too!
Go to Jensugermeyer.com and grab your free ‘guide to happiness’ on how to start reconnecting to the person within!
MY BOOK – RESET
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